The Rev. Virginia W. Nagel
Ephphatha Parish of the Deaf
Episcopal Diocese of Central NY
Most of us can sympathize with
Thomas. We understand perfectly where he is coming from, because we share his
feelings and attitudes. It's part of human nature. We want to see for
ourselves!
On Easter evening, Jesus had
appeared to his disciples in the upper room where only a few days ago they had
eaten the Last Supper together. Easter morning, some of the women who had gone
to the tomb came back with the news that a strange man--some said two men--had
been at the tomb, in glowing light, and informed them that Jesus was no longer
there because he had risen from the dead. He was alive again, and had gone off
somewhere. Of course, nobody believed the women's story. Even after Peter and
John had run all the way to the tomb, all they could say was that the tomb was
empty. That didn't prove anything, except that Jesus' body wasn't there any
more. Maybe the Romans had taken it away to bury in some secret place. Maybe
the Pharisees or the Temple leaders had taken it away to discredit everything
Jesus had said or done. But, it was certain that they had seen him die, had
helped to bury him, and that he was truly dead. And, no matter how beautiful
and glowing the young man or men at the tomb were, it still didn't seem possible
that Jesus could be alive. Dead men don't rise. They don't get up and walk
around. Yes, Jesus was dead. And whatever had happened to his body?
And so most of the disciples
gathered in the upper room, that had become a sort of central meeting place for
them, a safe place. They were probably grieving and mourning, and someone seems
to have brought in something for them to eat. All of a sudden, there was Jesus!
Surely this must be a ghost.
No door had opened. The windows were still closed. Nobody had felt the slight
breeze of a person passing by them, or heard any footfalls. Yes, it must be a
ghost. The disciples looked at each other, wondering, worried, afraid.
And then Jesus spoke.
Don't be afraid, it is I, myself. Don't you believe me? Well, look at the
holes in my hands and feet. Look at this wound in my side. It truly is me!
More silent glances from one
disciple to another. Nobody knew what to think. It would be wonderful if it
was really Jesus, but dead men don't rise to life again. How could they be
sure?
As always, Jesus knew what they
were thinking. He asked, Have you got anything here to eat?
With trembling fingers, someone
pushed a plate with a few pieces of leftover fish towards him.
He took a piece and ate it.
Dead men don't eat, and neither do ghosts. Several of the disciples let out a
big breath. Maybe it was really Jesus, after all! Maybe he was really alive!
They wanted so much for it to be true, but they were afraid to believe it.
And then Jesus was talking with
them, just as he always had. His familar voice and gestures gave them more
proof that it was truly Jesus. Gradually, they relaxed. After awhile, he
blessed them, and---suddenly, he was no longer there! Again, they looked at
each other, bewildered. Where had he gone, and how had he left? But at least,
now they were sure he was alive!
Suddenly, there was a pounding
at the door, and two more disciples burst into the room. They had been walking
along the road to the town of Emmaus and had been joined by a stranger, who
walked with them and discussed the Bible with them. He had explained how Jesus'
death fitted in with what many of the prophets had said in old times. They had
invited him to join them for supper, and he had blessed and broke the bread,
just as he had at the Last Supper. Instantly, they recognized him. They had
not known him before. But the way he said the blessing and broke the bread was
exactly the same as it had been the other night. It had to be Jesus! And then
he simply disappeared, and the two disciples came running, pell-mell, to tell
the others about it. Jesus was really alive!
The two groups shared their
excitement and joy. Now all of them believed.
Thomas wasn't there that night,
but a week later, he was with them at dinner time in the upper room. He had
heard what the others had said, how they had seen Jesus. But he didn't believe
them. It just wasn't possible. Dead men don't come back to life. It couldn't
happen. Unless I see for myself, put my finger into those nail holes, no
way I can believe, Thomas said.
While they ate, suddenly Jesus
was among them, and came straight to Thomas, hands outstretched. Thomas,
it is I, myself. Put your finger into the holes in my hands, put your hand into
the wound in my side. Don't doubt any more--believe! It is truly me!
And Thomas hurled himself off
the bench and onto his knees on the floor in front of Jesus, calling out to
him: You are my Lord and my God!
Too many of us find it hard to
believe what we read in the Bible and what the church teaches, because those
teachings are outside the limits of our own experience. We want to stay with
the comfortable things that we have seen and heard for ourselves. We don't want
to try to believe things we don't understand. If we see for ourselves, we feel
in control. If we are asked to believe in something we have not experienced, we
feel out of control, and afraid. It is hard for us to let go and allow our
minds to accept something we have no experience of, ourselves. So we understand
exactly how Thomas felt, and where he was coming from.
And yet, Jesus spoke to us all,
when he spoke to Thomas. It is I, myself. Don't doubt any more. Take
the risk of believing, and acting on it, and you will see and do things you
never thought you could see or do!
Can you answer, with Thomas,
Yes, Jesus. You are my Lord and my God, and I believe in you with all my
heart?
